I rarely talk about sincerely personal things, other then fashion and makeup, parenting, things of that nature. I have tried to keep my blog on a certain “topic” , which is light, fun and full of bright colors and bright fashion tips/topics, you get the drift. I debated on if I would write this post or not, and if I should steer my blog into a completely different direction. The direction, is my sobriety. My journey has been long and difficult,; probably the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with in my life. It’s a very serious topic that I wasn’t sure I wanted to write about or not on my “fun, carefree site” I also know I have people reading this blog that read it just to see what I’m up to. People that don’t like me, people that I wish I could ban from my website, I wish I could almost make it “private” sometimes like a Facebok profile, but unfortunately I can’t. So writing this right now I am opening myself up to be judged and to be talked about, gossip, but I’ve come to terms with accepting that no matter what, it is still better to write about it and just accept the negatives.
Going to meetings, such as AA and NA, I was told one of the best things I could do for myself and my sobriety is to “write” about my journey. I was told to maybe get a journal, or a diary and just write down my feelings and share them with as many people as I can. Friends and stranger both. So when I thought about writing about my journey, ALL my thoughts and feelings and fears, I thought where is a better place then my actual blog ? I contemplated starting a NEW blog just for this topic, but I thought I need to stop being afraid, especially about what people THINK about me, and start focusing on my health and my complete spiritiual awakening, and letting the whole world read my thoughts , fears and feelings. And to NOT be afraid of the comments or thoughts,or negative reactions. SO needless to say, this is probably the hardest post I’ve ever had to write; and as scared as I am to write all my thoughts and feelings on a website where the whole entire world can see, it’s also a “freeing” feeling, like I’m free to finally open about up about all the things I’ve kept bottled inside me for years and years. So for me this is more of a therapeautic process and I appreciate each and every one of you for reading this; I’m open to all thoughts and opinions, but PLEASE try not to be too harsh in your own thoughts and comments about what you read here. I promise I will approve each and every one no matter how mean or nice the comment is.
I definatly don’t want to get too spiritual or religious on this blog but this is the first of hopefully many posts; or should I say this is the first post in a series of posts I will write about my spiritual path.